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SMOMS Poems by sister SMOMS
Would you like to share a poem? Please feel free to post it here or email to me and I will add it to the list. Always eager to provide inspiration for sister SMOMS. CBD

A Poem for my Sister SMOMS

The unsung hero of the family forest
The all guts, little glory of forever take two
Some say you should have known the story
Yet no one lives it more than you.

There is no holiday to mark your efforts
And most will never comprehend
The pain that dances with every good day
The hurt of heart you ache to mend.

You often feel the odd one out
The square-edged peg above a rounded hole
The joy, the pain, the love, the rebuff
Flirt with the edges of your soul

‘No, I am not your mother baby bird
Yet still I help to raise and soothe you,
Not because genetics demand it
But because, my dear, I choose to!’

Hip, Hip Hooray for you brave one
Who leapt into the fray
May you long be proud of all you do
All you give and say.

Hang in there lovely SMOM
And when your heart is sore
Hand it to me gently
And I’ll support it forevermore.

With very best wishes,


Bring your stories, good and bad,
Talk about success you've had.

Share the problems that you face,
Get good ideas in our "safe space."

We're all about honoring the way we feel,
The compassion we share is unique and quite real.

It feels great to know we can email or phone,
"Cause when you're a SMOM you're never alone!

Author-an annonymous SMOM

A SMOM from Australia wrote this in a moment of inspiration around Mother's Day 2007. It was so SMOM-like and right-on that she gave me her permission to make it a permanent part of the site. Thanks Debs!

“I penned this the style of the odes to Mums..”

This Stepmothers Day, lets spare a thought for all of the Stepmothers who often have a thankless task. This is for the unsung heros, the SMOMS!

This is for the women who started this journey thinking " I can make this work." For the women who had their dreams shattered and were left to pick up the pieces of family life.

The women who find themselves up during the night with a child who they didn't give birth to, because they are sick and their Dad is sleeping through. For SMOMS who sat through the vomit, the snot, the coughing, sneezing and whining.

For the SMOMS who helped make a mothers day card with a stepkid for a BM who totally didn't deserve it and won't even care. For the SMOMS who thought about it but didn't do it and for the SMOMS who didn't have to do it.

For the SMOMS who took skids to doctors and hospitals and dentists. For SMOMS who said last goodbyes to stepkids at a funeral home.

For the SMOMS who were passed over for Mothers day because they are SMOMS, not MOMS.

For the SMOMS who've comforted their husbands because their children have moved out of the state. For the SMOMS who've comforted each other because the stepkids have moved into their homes.

For the SMOMS who have screamed into the night that life ISN'T fair. For those of us who have seen pettiness within us that we didn't like. For those of us who have lost our temper, lost our cool and lost our marbles trying to make sense of complicated situations.

For the SMOMS who have spent hours sobbing because a child hurt our feelings and discovered that there really IS a feeling of wanting to tear your hair out.

For the SMOMS who've looked at the DH and wondered what happened to a wonderful love story.
For the SMOMS who've looked at the frying pan and then at DH and wondered if it would improve their love story!

For the SMOMS who can't let the pain go. For the ones who are learning to let the pain go and for the SMOMS like Cathryn who are teaching others to let the pain go.

For the SMOMS who check this site 100 times a day to see if any one has answered their desperate post, with a solution. For the SMOMS who check this site to see if they can offer a solution. For the SMOMS who care enough to share their names and lives and details to help others. For the SMOMS who want to, but can't.

For every SMOM who has looked at themselves in the mirror and wondered how they got to this place in life. For all the SMOMS who don't look in the mirror any more because the extra pounds have helped us cope with the pain. For the SMOMS who can finally look themselves in the mirror again and say "I'm getting somewhere."

For the SMOMS who look after someone else’s kids on the holidays. For the SMOMS who juggle split families and sports and schools. For the SMOMS who spend so much time running between schools and activities, they wonder whether they should live in their car.

For the SMOMS who never get the skids on important days. For the SMOMS who spend the important days fitting all the kids into a couple of hours.

For the SMOMS who've been hurt by an angry BM. For the SMOMS who have tried everything to make BM happy and still can't. For the SMOMS who are also BMs.

For the SMOMS who seem to be the only one trying to help a child who isn't your own. Or to turn the whole family around. For the SMOMS who desperately wanted Dr Phil to move into the guest room!

For the SMOMS coping with stepkids used as pawns or messengers. To any SMOM who's ever heard the phrase "Well I can do it at my Mum's house."

For the SMOMS who've sat through counselling sessions and the SMOMS who can't get their family to counselling sessions. For the SMOMS that have sat through family court, mediation and other enormous wastes of time and money. For the SMOMS who haven't.

For the SMOMS who are the only Mother a child has now and are dealing with an ungrateful child, ungrateful DH and pain at every turn. For the SMOMS who's BMs have walked back into their child’s lives and been the recipient of undeserved adulation, while you were just shoved in a corner and forgotten about.

For the SMOMS who organise every one else's birthdays and presents only to be overlooked on their special day

For the SMOMS who wanted to walk out the door but didn't. For the SMOMS who wanted to lose the step kids, but didn't. For the SMOMS that struggle with their feelings for the stepkids and are brave enough to share their pain and hurt and anger.

SMOMS are powerhouses of love and we are so busy looking after everyone else’s best interests that we forget to celebrate ourselves. SMOMS are pioneers and our stories will be invaluable for those SMOMS who don't even know they are going to be SMOMS yet.

Sister SMOMS....I stand in awe of all of you. Bright women who are fighting for their families to have a cohesive future. SMOMS who are fighting the good fight and getting jipped on the rewards of being a good SMOMS.

Happy Stepmothers Day.
Love Debs
Weekend mommy
Life now only matters two days a week
the remainder pass with anticipation and preparation like a dream
Sleep is hard to come by so full of thoughts of you both
Waiting, wishing, hoping, missing
Then your here smiling and laughing
Both so open and loving that I can hardly believe my good fortune
Always worried that I will not be enough or that my novelty will fade
Afraid my kisses will not take away the pain, or that my face in the morning will disappoint
So much self doubt in the face of such blind trust
These things don't cross their mind or worry them
My kisses make hurt stop, my words carry weight and are remembered like laws
How amazing this opportunity to witness the beginning of two great lives
So sacred I will mess up or overstep my bounds but just wanting to be there no matter what
Then just as quickly as they arrive, they are gone leaving me here again to doubt and anticipate
waiting again for time to start already missing my heart
To have so much of you be separate from you and out of your reach feels precarious
No direction but forward into uncertinty and hope for another weekend
anticipating your company and hoping all is well


Here I am the same as before, but different in every way.
wanting to be there for them every second but knowing full well such things are impossible.
I have to let go everyday, every morning when I wake up and they are not there.
Each time we get in the car headed South again.
They inspire my every thought and they hold my dreams in their ever growing hands, their smiles are like grated wishes and their laughs like answered prays.
How can I describe the place they have in my heart?
I have read the words of many women in my situation and though some come close,
all are off by a long shot,
because every situation is unique in and of its self.
I did not bear them and I can never claim them as my own
and none of that matters in the slightest to me.
Their pictures hang in my office, our bedroom, all over the house, they are tucked in my wallet and always behind my lids as I rest.
My sleep filled with hopes of the next time we meet or memories of last time we saw each other.
Every time they call to me, reach out to take my hand or we share a silent joke I am born again.
Reminded why I do any of what I do and why it is all worth the effort and pain.
It is not their reaction that matters what is important is that every second we have together I tried my best.
They know how much they mean to me and they are comfortable in the space we share together,
absolutely sure of their station in my life.
We are bound by their father but we have found a common ground apart from him, not that he is apart from us only we are not dependent on him to hold us to one another.
We build what we can with the time we have, we do not fret when we part only hope for more time in the future.
Years pass like minutes flying ever closer to the unsure future I try not to be greedy but I can’t stop the wishing for more of their time.
Missing them completely but knowing they never really leave me when they are gone,
this is what it means to me to be a stepmom.
Giving all that you have without any assurance or guarantee only the constant choice to put them first,
to hold them up and let them shine.
It's not about me and it never was,
it's about them.

Today you said you love me

Without preamble or question, today you said you love me.
My heart leapt out of my chest and my breath stopped in my throat.
All I did was build a fort and my reward was a unsolicited statement of affection.
I could only answer that I loved you too.
But I wanted to swoop you up and hug you till next year.
I have come so far just to be near you.
We have all been though so much, just to start over
and still have mountains to climb before we are whole.
I have found my path again, of that I am sure, I can finally feel the ground beneath my feet.
You have brought me down to earth and lifted me to the heavens with three little words.
I have said before that no little girl dreams of becoming a stepmother.
I now realize how sad that is for the reward of love, true love is immeasurable.
Not the kind of love we see in movies but the kind that lives in happy homes and behind children's' eyes.
That kind of love is worth anything and everything all at once.
Today I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams,
with the love of a boy who means the world to me.
The SMOM Storm, By Daisymae
Written November, 2015

The SMOM Storm
I wrote this today, as it's how I've been feeling... maybe you do too?

It just never ends...

The cycle of up and down
back and forth
the forces beyond our control
beat upon us like waves on jagged rocks
We try to hold our heads up
We tread to keep from drowning
Treading water doesn't move you though
Therefore you're never gaining
The cycle for being ripped and torn
Every each way
Wears you down, down, down,
day after day
We tell ourselves, it's for the best
We hold on the the reasons
The reasons we dove into this angry mean ocean
We are strong
We are smart
We can handle the wave and the wind and the rain
There is so much good to do this for
Mus-int let our reasons drown
Just as we will
Unless we learn to swim
But swimming is so hard
Against the massive waves
Enraging Winds
and Torrential Rain
We search and seek a safe haven
Where our hearts and minds can heal
But there is always one more thing to hold
One more thing to handle
Back into the waves we go
Trying to make sense of all this scramble
We thrash!
We cry!
We scream!
We sigh!
All the while we feel the fight is futile
But giving up is not an option,
Our family is on the line...
The wicked witch and cast her spells
but goodness always wins
We hold fast to this thought
This fleeting hope with all our might
Though it might exhaust us
We will make it through the night
Tomorrow is another day
Will we dive back in
Struggle through another day?
Or will we choose to run and hide
To keep our psyche safe?
Such is the plight of we step moms
We chose to battle each and every day
We do it for the love that is returned
Once the storms have rolled away
We fight the storms and ragging waters
For the prize that we can see
The love we give and love we get
We dive into dangerous dark places
deep inside our hearts
facing fears
and holding spears
In conditions we knew not
There is always this other woman
Who created kids, not us
Who had our partners love
before we came around
Who dictates the storms around us
Drives into us like a bus
We are strong
We are resilient
But even we can get worn down
So for those we've chosen as a partner in life
remember the storm you've brought with you
In many forms
Custody Schedules
This with regular relationship blights
We dove into this life with you
Remember to hold us
Remember to show us
Just how much our plight means to you
Don't forget the constant storm that swirls around a Smom
She faces this each and everyday
For you, her love.
She dives in,
yet again.
Each day hoping for forward motion
Each day making one stroke  
Further than the day before
She cuts Into the cycle,
That she intends to end...

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