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Cathryn's reading list (10.21.11)
Hi, There are lots of good books on this forum. I'm not going to repeat all the books we've talked about or are covered here. I want to add some new ones as they come up in the BB posts.

I'll update this list as we go along! Take a look at the other threads, lots of good ideas here. Thanks to everyone who's suggested a title.

Books that may support your process:

If you think you have a Narcissistic skid or bio-mom read, "The Wizard of Oz and other Narcisissists" by Eleanor Payson.

If you think you may have been raised by one or more narcissistic parents read, "Trapped in a Mirror" by Elan Golomb

If you are looking for super insights and practical suggestions for dealing with your teenagers (Skids or bio-kids), read, "Get out of my life but first could you take me and Cheryl to the Mall!" by Anthony Wolf. UK Version uses different name and he goes by Tony Wolf)

If you liked "The Four Agreements" (one of the SMOMS best ever books) and you want to improve your relationship with DH read, "The mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Bunny may write a better review for you if she gets a chance.

If you are interested in getting to the bottom of your present pain, grief, anger, shame, feeling left out, neglected and other deep feelings read, "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Dr. Alice Miller.

If you find yourself becoming more like your parents (and not in all the good ways) when you are interacting with your own kids or skids, read, "The Drama of the Gifted Child" and/or "For their own Good" or any other book by Dr. Alice Miller.

If you are realizing that childhood shame is impacting your life read, "Healing the Shame that binds us" by John Bradshaw

Hi, actually I did write most of a book in 2005. Thanks to a sister SMOM I even had an agent and she found a few publishers interested enough in the proposal to have me write a few chapters so she could give them a better sample to evaluate. It was an exciting time for me.

Stuff happened the eve of sending the partial manuscript ton the interested publishers.

I chose to not do the book and broken few chapter sections into smommentaries.
I chose my marriage and my DH's relationship over pursuing that project.
It was crushing but we believed that stress that bio-mom threatened if I did publish would have been too much to recover from. Right or wrong it's what I chose.

Fast forward to 2011.

I've just completed my notes (6 inches of handwritten notebook paper) for a new book and plan to start writing it this coming week. No kidding! This time being a stepmom is only part of the book, these past 15 years were the circumstances that drove me to look very deep inside myself for answers and well-being. I hope to finish in 6-8 months. I'll keep you posted. Some of what I've shared here since my return will be incorporated in the story's bigger picture.

Thanks for asking. :-) Cathryn
I am SO EXCITED that you are going to write a book!!!!!!!!! I cant wait to read itBig Grin
Thanks for your enthusiasm and support. Please keep imagining that it comes out in 2012. That will help a lot. :-)
Thank you for posting these recommended readings.

I just ordered 3 off of your list!!

I'd like to add for SMOMs of ADHD kids:

"Delivered From Distraction" by Ned Hallowell.
(11-03-2011, 12:35 PM)Anahata Wrote: does anyone know the book about the love style? people have mentioned it several times on the boards but I can't find it. I think it was a Christian book?


The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman - excellent book!
I just finished "Understanding Stepmothers: Women Share their Struggles, Successes, and Insights" by Elizabeth Church, Ph.D.
It was really helpful for me and I'm going to have my husband read the sections that apply to our situation. Check it out.
Stepmonster! This book climbs inside our heads. It is so good; I read it so eagerly the first time because it validates us and our experiences. We are not crazy. We ARE being mistreated by our stepchildren regardless of age. Stepmothers DO have a miserable time over stepfathers. There is NO SUCH THING as a blended family. How totally wonderful to be validated. I cried. I've begged DH to read it. I would like to purchase copies to hit non-stepfamily-trained psychologists over the head. At last! A book that totally "gets" the burden of being a stepmother and doesn't encourage "trying harder" to see the stepchild's point of view. If you are here and you are defeated by step parenting and feel you are at your lowest low, go directly to Kindle or Amazon or your bookstore and read this book. It is a breath of fresh air.
You're welcome. Please let me know what you thought.
I recommend "10 Poems to Open Your Heart " by Roger Housden.

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