1 stepdaughter, now 13 years old, no bio-kids
I’ve had lots of counseling, read lots of stepparent materials, and feel I did most things well, but I would change this:
1. I would not have encouraged my SO to fight for full custody when I saw that his daughter was living with a drug addict mom. It was his choice and I would have supported him but I should not have been the one to say it is what “you need to do.”
2. When the courts decided dad should have full custody, I would have moved out of SO’s home. My SO is a wonderful man but he needed to be a full time dad without me in the picture. I resent now doing all the things I did because I am by far the less chaotic person in the four person drama that has been my life for the past 8 years.
3. It was always my plan to NOT raise kids. It was wrong for me to do 1 & 2. That being said, I love my SO more than ever and plan to stay in the relationship now.
However, I would never, ever do something so counter to my adult decisions ever again.