DH and I have been together for 3 years. Married last October. We have a 1 yr old daughter together. SS is 5 and we have him 50/50. I am just as much of a parent to SS as his Mom and Dad are.
I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now. Everything I think I would change, I end up changing my mind because the results would probably be different. I am very happy at where I am at right now. I am happy at where my family is too.
So just the one thing I would change is:
I would not have been so trusting and allowed a too friendly relationship with BM to have happened. I should have created boundaries from the beginning. I shouldn’t have been foolish enough to believe that BM’s actions would always solely be in the best interest of SS. At least half of her actions have to do with her needing to be in control.
I should not have allowed her in my home. I should not have allowed her to call or text DH or myself multiple times a day. I should not have stepped in and helped her when she needed it. I should not have allowed her to say any negative things to me about DH. I feel really guilty for that. It was disloyal of me.
I have identified the boundaries that I and my family need, and I’m always trying to keep them in place. I’m happier for it, but I’m still dealing with the anger that I feel towards BM. I’ve realized that she’s just SS’s mom, not a sister wife or a family member. This is my family and she is not a part of it. She is just a part of SS’s life and family.