Hi! New to SMOMS but have been a smom for 3 years to three CP stepkids and one NCP skid. Here are the things I would do differently:
1) Not move in as quickly with my SO without a firm commitment. We moved in together after 7 months. I had spent some time with his stepkids but boy is it different when you actually live with them! And now we’re constantly arguing about when/if we’re going to get married and when/if we’ll have our own children. I told him these were things I needed when we starting becoming serious and he said he wanted it too…but now it seems like it’ll never happen. I think it’s become the whole “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” thing, or at least I think that’s how the saying goes.
2) I would’ve disengaged from the very beginning. My heart’s been broken too many times by the kids and their father.
3) I would’ve become friends with the CP stepkids’ BM right away instead of trying to be friends with her now after my SO has poisoned my mind against her. Maybe that way the things she does/says wouldn’t be nearly as bad as they are. She’s not a b**** on purpose, she’s just has a princess mentality. We could’ve probably gotten along well enough where I wouldn’t want to punch her in the nose when she makes her requests.