SMOM Tips submitted by: Heather

Intrinsic Sensitivity

Tip #

Tip

1

I am SM of two girls, ages 21 and 22. The youngest still lives with us. Something that is important to me personally is that no matter what is said to me, no matter the cruelty visited upon me with wounding words, I must never say anything that will be negatively internalized by her at an age where her self esteem is particularly vulnerable. Though she may hurt me, I try not to take it personally (I do not always succeed), but she will never hear me swear at her, call her names or "stupid" or anything else that could damage her permanently. Females especially tend to believe the bad stuff so much more easily than the attempts to shore up their confidence. Just remember, words have the power to help or to heal. When you feel as though you are about to say something retaliative, trust me when I tell you to WALK AWAY before you do. Honor your feelings, but honor theirs as well. Has this worked for me? In the aspect of the kids liking me, no. It has had no effect. However, with respect to my relationship with myself, I am able live with myself and look at myself in the mirror each day; and that is worth something to me.

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