Cathryn Bond Doyle 
Stepmom Trainer, Consultant & Mentor

Hello & Welcome to my site!

If you’re considering working with me privately, taking a workshop or becoming a Subscribing Member, I thought you might wonder, “What makes her a stepmom teacher & mentor? and "What can this woman teach me?” so I created this page to answer those valid questions.  


My goal, as a train & mentor to stepmoms, is to help you cultivate greater emotional well-being & wisdom and help you maintain a strong ever-loving connection with your partner by giving you new skills & insights while helping you learn more about yourself & what you need. While no one has all the answers​, I sure have a lot of questions, stories & options that will help you figure out what is best for you.

My expertise comes from personal experiences, the work I’ve done with other stepmoms and my own search for wisdom.  I’ve been in the stepmom trenches for a long time & want to pass along what I’ve learned to any woman who feels drawn to my work. How did I acquire my knowledge about human behavior, psychology, relationships?  There's an answer for that question. I'll be as succinct as I can. Thanks for you interest. 


I've gathered my skills in several ways:

  1. Graduated Magna Cum Laude with BS in Management from University of Hartford in 1978.
  2. Trained and worked as IBM Sales Rep. from 1978-1980.
  3. Was Director of Electronic Banking, introducing ATMS with CT Banks.
  4. Went out on my own in 1984 as a independent consultant, trainer, writer & speaker becoming an internationally recognized expert in helping people develop their own strengths, overcome fears (new porducts like ATM's & Debit Cards) & training thousands of people to confidently embrace change & improve their interpersonal & problem-solving skills (1978-2000).
  5. Became a stepmom on 1996 to 5-year old stepson; most of them challenging years.
  6. Founded SMOMS in March 2000 & began working professionally with stepmoms (full time). Work included moderating weekly & monthly support groups in NJ, conducting private consultations & uncountable hours supporting stepmoms on SMOMS.org.
  7. Since 2007, I've paid for over 1,200 hours of private training from experts (authors, therapists, consultants) so I could better understand & develop new ways to handle personal & relationship issues facing stepmoms. 


What you’ll learn from me comes from what I’ve experienced in real life, not clinical studies or the untested work of others. Like the story-tellers of old passed down their wisdom to help the next generations, I believe working with people who’ve gone before us, felt what we’ve felt, lived through what we’re struggling with now & who already did what we’re trying to do, can be a profound loving exploration & empowering learning experience. 


When I started SMOMS® in 2000, it was with the goal of offering compassionate, emotional and problem solving support for stepmoms who were  searching for empathy & answers, like I was & the vision of building an organization to educate, support & empower stepmoms around the world. 

If you read my body of work, freely displayed here on SMOMS.org, you’ll get a sense of my approach & you'll know if what I have to teach is what you want to learn. Whether you drop by the site to read an article, join the free member support boards or choose to work more actively with me as a Subscribing Member, workshop participant or private client, may you find the answers you're looking for to bring you more peace and joy.​ 


More than ever, I remain passionate about helping stepmoms and I look forward to working with those of you who want to learn more, talk about, work thru, get better at, try out and get support for the many complex issues we face as stepmoms.​​​​

 

I wholeheartedly welcome you to join me on this profound & empowering journey.

Warm Regards & Best Wishes, ​

Cathryn 


For more specifics, you can read my bio at cbdoyle.com.

For some testimonials, you can read them by clicking here.


Register as a Member of SMOMS.org & learn:

  • How incredibly good it feels to realize that you’re not crazy, too needy, over-sensitive or alone anymore!
  • How interesting, invigorating & inspiring it can be to share experiences with stepmoms, from all walks of life, who truly understand how you feel.

Become a Participating Member and here's a list of some of the issues we'll be working on. There's alot to talk about:

  1. How to become conscious of any harsh self-judgments & imprisoning beliefs so you can replace them with unconditionally loving, compassionate self-talk & supportive beliefs. 
  2. How to respond to any ridiculous, intrusive, unfair, unkind, hostile, manipulative & narcissistic actions of your stepkids’ biological mother with an empowered attitude & self-respecting choices.
  3. How to help yourself feel better anytime you feel left-out, unappreciated, grief-stricken, disrespected, detached, anxious, judged, silenced or invisible.
  4. How to free yourself from feeling trapped by, and a victim of, the circumstances of your stepfamily situations. 
  5. How to learn from any resentment, rage, hatred & other intense reactions so you can process your emotions, better stand up for your needs & uphold healthy boundaries. 
  6. How to interact with your stepkids in kind, productive and mutually respectful ways especially when their actions (or inactions) upset you.
  7. How to minimize any tension between you and your partner; even when your partner’s behavior is judgmental, defensive or distorted by divorce guilt, grief & fears.
  8. How to strengthen your very special intimate loving bond with your partner. 
  9. How to reconnect with & sustain your happy, optimistic, energetic, open-hearted & loving nature, even if you’re feeling exhausted, bitter, defeated, depressed or out of ideas & motivation at this time.
  10. How healing & liberating it is to learn more about yourself. 
It can be hard to believe that being a stepmom is really a tremendous opportunity for personal growth, but I can tell you from experience and with heartfelt enthusiasm that it’s true!

PS I’m not a therapist or a licensed as a counselor... 

I've been a consultant since 1984 and sharing personal experiences has always been part of my working style. Because I’m NOT a therapist, I’m NOT bound by the ethical parameters that, for the most part, prevent therapists from revealing anything about themselves when working with clients. This relationship boundary keeps the focus on the client by creating a clinical environment for the client’s process. This model can work beautifully … with the right therapist. Happily, as a teacher, consultant & trainer, I’m free to share my personal feelings, experiences & lessons learned. I can be a mentor, friend & part of the amazing sisterhood of Stepmoms on a Mission®.

Therapy can be very important. I know from personal experience that working with a wise and wonderful therapist can help heal the emotional wounds we all carry from our past into our relationships.   If you’re working with a therapist, PLEASE be sure you’re working with a therapist who has done his or her own personal growth work, ideally is a stepmom and who demonstrates to you that he/she is aware of the unique aspects of being a stepmom.


Taking your time & trusting your gut when selecting your therapist is worth every ounce of energy. Please NEVER settle. Many of my clients work in tandem with their therapists and it’s been a terrific synergistic process that I wholeheartedly encourage. FYI: Dr. Alice Miller has written a few pages offering ideas for interviewing a therapist in her book, “Free From Lies; Discovering your true needs.” (pgs. 121-126) You may want to check that out on Amazon.








Stepmoms on a Mission®
PO Box 7, Medford NJ 08055
609.206.2009
Cathryn@smoms.org