Venting Guidelines- A Requested approach
Hi Ladies, I realized I upset many of you when I returned (for various reasons) and if I had a magic wand, I'd go back and do it differently. Since I don't have that wand, I'm trying again to clarify a guideline that, for whatever reason, is very important to me and our mission.
Seems we agree on this part.)
Venting is a very essential tool, skill, method of dealing with the complex emotional situations we face. It's a way to self-respect ourselves and honor our feelings. It often helps us eventually figure out what's really going on for us AND probably most importantly, it gives us a healthy way to move the very powerful energy (that strong feelings can create) out of our bodies. We learned very early on in SMOMS that being able to express how we feel and having others understand and not judge us is an important gateway to being able (and willing) to move forward and find ways to help ourselves and our situations. There's certainly no timetable on this process. Everyone is different and every circumstance is different. It's just a sequence of events that we find very helpful in our personal process.
So, with that said, how's this for a new venting guideline:
When you're sharing your feelings about anything and anyone on this BB please use words that you would be OK hearing from your adorable 8-10 year old child or skid. I'm not saying you're limited to their vocabulary, not at all. It's just that if they said, whatever you are writing, you'd be OK with it, feeling it was appropriate. When it doubt, use this as a way to calibrate your choices. Certainly the wordless symbols people like to use for strong feelings are another effective way to express yourself.
For Example, "I think this person is a despicable, cruel, narcissistic, sociopathic, self-centered, borderline, bi-polar, lying lazybones whom I hate, detest, despise and distrust." That's OK. And yes, you're probably not going to hear an 8 year old say something we might actually say here at SMOMS but the point is that all those words are good descriptive words that express feelings and give readers a darn good idea of what the writer is feeling.
Here's hoping that those of you who were upset with (or unclear about) my original message and/or feared a loss of freedom of expression, can feel comfortable with this as a guideline.
PS I've given all the feedback about my words and my sudden reappearance a lot of thought. I appreciate all the comments.
REPLY FROM BUNNY (only one who replied so wanted to include it)
I have no problems with these suggestion. and I'm the one who hands out the cyber-frying pans to the SMOMS in need, also, I don't cuss, but I do use symbols or mis-spelling of those words!
Also, a lot of SMOMS here will announce in their subject line: "This is a VENT" and then they ask for suggestions. I think if we employed the "vent" option in the thread titles more often, then we can be forewarned--choose not to read it, or of course, if we do reply, try to not only sympathize w/ the SMOM, but also give her some constructive ideas.
Hell, Cathryn, if I hadn’t found SMOMS when I did (back in 2007) I would've been thrown in jail by now for kicking so many peoples' butts! LOL!